School Girl Heart
by Blonde Pickle Mule
Summary: She's here to visit him for the first time, and it's the hardest thing she's ever done in her life. She misses him, more than she ever thought possible. Post-war fic.


**Written for the Hogwarts Online Prompt of the Day. Using the prompts "I need you now" and "I didn't know I loved you so much"**

**Disclaimer: I do not in any shape or form own Harry Potter or anything associated with it.**

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A lone figure makes her way through the stones, reading the names carefully as she goes. It's ages since she's been here, not since the day she said goodbye to her mother anyway. It's been too painful before now, but it's been hard knowing she didn't lay her demons with him to rest, so she's come today.

Holly knows everyone's been waiting for her to do this, that's why she didn't tell anyone, why it's the crack of dawn. Finally she comes to the right row and closes her eyes for a moment in pain. She's really doing this. Walking along she finds it, right next to his grandparents. This is the closest she'll ever be to him again, separated by six feet of earth.

She sinks down onto her knees in the grass, reaching out to trace the letters. "Anthony..." Holly whispers, her face quivering. She isn't sure what she's feeling and her face reflects it, one minute it looks like she's about to smile, the next about to burst into tears. Anthony Goldstein, her boyfriend of two years is dead, she knows that. It's the moving on she can't handle.

There are some pink flowers in the little pot by the head-stone, probably a joke left by his brother. Holly admires Brandon for trying to keep his spirit alive like that. The boy has courage she'll never have, even though he's a Hufflepuff and she's meant to be a Gryffindor. The she looks down and sees something else that's been left.

It's a still photo, one she recognises instantly. It was taken back in 5th year, a few months after they got together. Cassie, one of her dorm mates, took it down by the lake one morning in April. It was one of the first days of sunshine, the lake looking rather blue instead of its typical black. Anthony had grabbed her about the waist with a grin, making her squeal with laughter. Someone has laminated it to keep out the water, probably his mother. She was always mindful of things like that.

This is when Holly starts to cry. The reminder of what she could have had hits her full force, what she _would _have had. With a great shuddering gasp she looks down at her left hand, the simple blue gem on a band of silver glittering up at her. Even now she can't bear to take it off.

"Oh Anthony." Her voice is choked with emotion, but she knows if she doesn't say it now she'll loose her nerve and never be able to come back. She doesn't want that. "It-It's been a while. I miss you more than ever. I don't want you to ever forget that I love you, even if I'm not here. I think about you every day, I just...I need you now. So much. I feel so broken Anthony...It hurts."

Holly pauses for a moment, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "You told me you'd never met anyone else like me- I couldn't figure out whether it was an insult or a compliment. You were always too clever for me. And I'd always be so reckless just to embarrass you, or make you laugh. I don't know if I ever told you this Ant, but you brought out the best in me. And I had that stupid little phrase which used to annoy the hell out of you."

With a little hiccup she reaches into her pocket, drawing out a chain. "You remember my dragon-scale charm? I've still got it you know, just like you wanted. It did keep me alive: like you said. I didn't know I loved you so much. I thought when you were alive that that was the furthest it could go but then you decided to prove me wrong and died. Couldn't you think of any other way?"

Tears are dripping down Holly's face, some sliding down her neck and sweater, some falling from her chin into her lap. She doesn't bother to wipe them away. She's been strong for too long. "I hate feeling so weak. Without you I'm like a tortoise without its shell, unprotected. I'll never forget you, even if I'm 90 and senile and end up in a home. You'll always be the highlight of my life."

She can't go on anymore. Emotion is overwhelming Holly as she blindly stumbles to her feet, fumbling in her pocket once more. She yanks out her wand and draws something upon the rock. Then she apperates away, leaving the graveyard just as still as it was before.

There on the headstone, right next to where it reads Anthony's name there's carved a school girl's heart, two sets of initials carved inside.

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**I'm sorry I killed Anthony. I read something earlier where he died and it inspired me. Leave me some thoughts one Holly? Did you like her, did you not? Should I expand this?**


End file.
